Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Memorial and Kite

I had a really sad day Monday, very weepy, since no longer working with dates I forget all kinds of things, I often don’t even know what date it is, I know a round about date but I always have to check the exact date when asked now.

I knew that Friday was the day I was demoing for Letraset at Create and Craft and I ploughed myself into getting lots of prep done for that date.

Today a song came on the radio (Rod Stewart Sailing) and it stopped me dead in my tracks, I suddenly heard myself saying “oh my God, what date is it?” This song was released shortly after loosing my brother Russell he was lost at sea when he was in the Merchant Navy, a young lad of 17 years old with the world at his feet. I franticly looked at a calendar and realised that I was one day late for his memorial, I’m devastated, I never miss it or forget, I hadn’t even rang my Mam, well the tears started falling and just wouldn’t stop. How on earth could I forget, I think of him every single day, why did nothing trigger my memory.

Of course I rang my Mam and couldn’t apologise enough, and of course she was fine about it but I still feel utterly ashamed at myself.

………………..

My card today is with and image called Kite by Mo’s Digital Pencil 

kite1

Coloured with Promakers

kite2

Jak Signature

33 comments:

WENDY said...

Dont beat yourself up about it Jak, I am sure you Mum understood, you lead such a busy life doing so much for others.
I know exactly how you feel because I have done similar things in the past.
Healing Hugs
Wendy

Ann Marie Governale said...

Oh Jak... it is what is in the heart that matters. How many remember "dates" but don't carry their loved ones in their heart? Life gets crazy sometimes... I am sure your love reaches him all the days before and after this one date...xxx Ann Marie

terrie said...

First of all your card is wonderful..well done on the coloring!
Secondly your not the only who forgot a passing of her brother..
I did the same when it made 5 yrs of my brother passing...I miss him a lot and he is on my mind often...
Take Care and don't be too hard on yourself...just keep the great memories of him in your heart.

Mary Roberson said...

Jak, I know you are upset about forgetting that date, but I'm sure your mum completely understands. You are human; you cared-that is what counts the most.

Your card is very pretty, love the soft colors achieved with the markers. Great job with the details of his face too!

Lorraine Mcneil said...

Oh Jak, dont you know we ALL forget sometimes? There are so many things to remember these days. It just seems to be a part of life. It happens to the best of us, no matter how hard we try. Be happy. He's still in your thoughts.

Tonya said...

Jak, I am sorry you are sad. You have been super busy lately and I know from reading your posts daily that you have alot on your plate. Your love does not disappear because you forget a date. You did not forget your love for him only what date it was, sweetie! I am sending you big hugs. :o)

Your card is gorgeous as always! I love that sweet image.

Enfys said...

So sorry you are feeling sad Jak, and I understand why, but don't blame yourself about a date - a date is just a day, and you carry him with you every day in your heart. Sending you a big hug
En xx

Renee said...

What really matters is that you keep your brothers memory alive...not on one day but every day & it sounds like that is exactly what you do!
Thanks for sharing your heart & your beautiful card with us.
Hugs,
Renee

Lorianna said...

It's very hard to say it's okay!
But some days do seem to run in to each other
and I didn't know your brother, but If he was standing in front of you, he would prob say he was so proud of you, for all you do everyday
and don't beat yourself up, it's okay
BIG HUG
I'm sending you across the pond!
H U G
Lorianna

June Nelson said...

Jak go easy on yourself hunnie, anyone can forget everything and like you say you think of him every day darlin. The cards fabby as always, such lovely colours too hunnie take care huggies June xxxx

Lisa Jane said...

I am sure your brother wouldn't mind .. he will know how how much you loved him and miss him, every day .. not just that one day . Don't be too hard on yourself.
LOve the cute cards .. beautifully coloured as always
Take care
Lisa x

Dawn said...

Oh Jak!Don't be so hard on yourself! I'm sure your mother knows you think of your brother every day & that will be enough for her!
If she'd needed you she would have called!
I love your little card! The inmage is sooo cute & the colours are so cheerful!
HUgs
Dawn xx

doreenj said...

As the others have said, try not to worry!!!! I know it's easy for us to say, but do try. He will know that you are thinking of him,

Hugs

Doreen x

Joyce said...

Oh Jak ... I can only repeat what others have said. You have only forgotten the date, not your brother. Having met your mum just the once at Harrogate I know she will understand. Hope you're feeling a little better today ... wish I could be with you to give you a hug, but hope everyone's comments will have helped you. Love and lots of hugs xxx

My'scardcorner said...

Love the card Jak and as previously said dont beat yourself up about forgetting like you say you remember him every day in your heart.
Myrax

Mad Mary said...

I too agree with all other comments. You momentarily forgot, there is nothing wrong with that Jak, you have such a busy schedule. Your brother is with you all the time and he knows you think of him. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Great card, lovely summery colours.

Mary xx

Amanda said...

I know exactly how you feel, I had an operation on my dad's memorial day and it completely slipped my mind with the worry about the operation. I felt so unhappy at myself but these things happen and your mum as does mine know that we think of them everyday and not just that one day. Sending hugs your way. xx

The Happy Crafting Shop said...

I have done the same myself, and it is not a deliberate act, so don't beat yourself up for it. I think the thing to remember is, that you were busy living your life, and because of that you forgot, and I am sure that is what your brother would want you to do. He will be in your heart forever. Sending hugs xx

rhodidodi said...

I have done the same myself, and it is not a deliberate act, so don't beat yourself up for it. I think the thing to remember is, that you were busy living your life, and because of that you forgot, and I am sure that is what your brother would want you to do. He will be in your heart forever. Sending hugs xx

Liz said...

From what I have read in other posts, you have a beautiful close relationship with your Mum,& I'm sure she will have understood & not been distressed that you didn't ring.Your brother will have understood too. You are human Jak,not superwoman (though will all you do you're pretty close:)
We always punish ourselves far more than we should for what we see is unforgiveable, but stand back & look how you woulde react if it had been the other way round. Would you punish someone else if they forgot an important date? No, you wouldn't, you would understand, so now, FORGIVE yourself. Your heart is in the right place. Take care XX

Tammy said...

What's important is that you did remember, it's not the date on the calendar is not what matters, it's what's in your heart!
Sweet card and as always, beautifully colored. Love the butterflies and buttons!

Zosia said...

Jak, stop punishing yourself!! You think about him every day and as some of the other ladies have said you lead a busy life. I lost my youngest brother last October and a day does not go by when I think of him - I am sure there will be a time when I will forget his memorial date. Nowadays were are always busy trying to do half a dozen jobs at the same time so it is hardly surprising that occassionaly we forget things. You have made your peace with him and your mum and she has forgiven you so you must do the same for yourself.

By the way the little boy with his kite is very cute.

Lots of hugs.

tinaco said...

Jak I bet a day does not pass when you do not think about your brother, as you said the song triggered your thoughts. Don`t beat yourself up about missing the date he is in your mind and heart forever. God bless Tina C

Jo Rice said...

Oh Jak, I just wanted to reach out and hug you as I read your post, your brother will always be in your heart, and That is what is important. ......as for your card beautiful colouring as always. And brill image. X

Shazza said...

sending big hugs x

sallysbitz said...

Aww Jak, these things do happen. Don't beat your self up luv x

Your Brother will be looking down on you, proud of all your achievements x

Your card is lovely x

hugs sally x
sallysbitz.blogspot.co.uk

Anonymous said...

A great card Jak, lovely layout, lovely image.
You had me really worried with your opening lines, it was beginning to sound like you had suddenly developed
'galloping amnesia' LOL. Dear girl, you ONLY forgot the date NOT your beloved brother who undoubledly is at peace in a far better place. In fact he is possibly laughing while trying to console you right now. Your good mum understands, so be happy and continue your life with your forever young brother in your thoughts.
May God continue to bless you richly.

Mary Mac (I do hope the above sounds as I meant it?!)

Debbie J said...

Oh, Jak, don't beat yourself up. It's obvious in the way you talk of your beloved brother that you have a memorial every day. Our loved ones are never gone when we remember them and keep them in our hearts. That's immortality.

hollis58 said...

Special hugs Jak xxx

ursula said...

You are not the only one forgetting dates Jak, since retiring I have to constantly check my diary/calendar, so don't feel too bad.... That little boy and his kite is so cute, super duper colouring....luv Ursula XX

caroline said...

Don't beat yourself up Jak, just because you missed the date does not mean that you think less of or love for him, we are all human, plus you have had so much on your plate with c&c shows which i must say i was glued to the screen watching.
I love the card so bright and vibrant and he is such a cutie.
caroline x

Beverly said...

Don't be too hard on yourself Jak, because I think your brother actually was sending you the song to say he loves you, he is proud of you and he knows that you keep him in your thoughts every day.

Marcea said...

my dearest Jak, your brother is in your heart forever and the fact that you think of him every single day shows your love for him. The exact date is a day for others to think fondly of him. Sending you loving wishes my lovely friend, please dont beat yourself up about this xxxxxxxxxxxx